Big Puppy
***Written (ahem, STARTED) a few days ago***
Oh, the tears. Real, hyperventilating, snot-inducing tears. There were even moments I felt sorry for him. Really. Heartbreak displayed in anyone for almost any reason can get to me.
Teddy lost his (apparently favorite) stuffed animal, Big Puppy, which he had chosen to bring over any others, to the family reunion we attended the week before last.
What initially puzzled me about this (other than that we searched high and low for it before we left and can't imagine how it might have gotten lost, when stuffed animals always stay on or near beds) was why cry TONIGHT? He hasn't had Big Puppy for two weeks, and he hasn't had any real tears over it until now. That was my initial reaction, too, was to ask WHY?? when Teddy managed to communicate through the gasps and sniffling what he was gasping and sniffling for. He had no answer, and I assume he cried tonight because he's extra tired or emotionally insecure, and it just GOT to him. Or maybe he's recently lost his hope of ever recovering Big Puppy. Not sure.
Being the amazing and ever-focused-on-the-eternal-perspective mother that I am (umm, not), I took the "teachable moment" opportunity and tried to use reason to teach/remind/convince him that people are infinitely more valuable than things. I tried to help him compare his concern over a stuffed animal, made of plastic and other not-living stuff, with his reaction when his best little buddy Maria died. (He didn't cry once over her.) I asked him if he would cry if our house burned down. He said yes. I asked him if he would cry if Bridget died, or Andrew. He said no.
*Insert more well-meaning monologue by Yours Truly to an exhausted and irrational sobbing boy HERE.*
Daddy came to the rescue, and I went to clean up the kitchen, but not a little bothered by the problem.
HOW, HOW does one MAKE another person value people over things? Because that's what I WANT to do. I want to make Teddy see how horribly messed up his priorities are, because I fear for his soul!
Usually when I ponder questions like these regarding teaching our children things, I remind myself that "more is caught than taught," (which is a phrase Randy likes to use often and I'm not sure from whence it came) and that usually heads me in the right direction. For example, when I think of how to instill the good habit of reading their Bibles every day, I have to keep reminding myself that it's not going to be as motivating for them if I only TELL them to do it, as opposed to seeing ME do it too. (However, I will still MAKE quiet-time a regular (even obligated) thing for my children, because reading out of obligation is better than not reading Scripture at all, and it's still creating that habit so they won't be fighting the habit of NOT-reading for the rest of their lives, like their mother does.)
But as far as prioritizing the love of people above the love of stuff, the "more is caught than taught" is not as helpful, SO FAR it seems. I think/hope that Randy and I are modeling the love of people over the love of stuff/money, though there's probably always going to be room for improvement. Our love of stuff pales in comparison to our children's, but comparing is never reaching perfection.
I wonder if righteously prioritized love is as much a gift from God as our faith is, because they sort of come hand-in-hand. Without faith from him to have faith in him, we cannot please him. Without our relationship with God set, I believe it is impossible to love others selflessly, because it requires a death of the self.
So I guess I have to conclude that, when it comes to teaching my kids to love others, I can only get them so far. They never REALLY will unless the Lord makes it happen and they become obedient children of his!
***Update: The resort's laundering service FOUND Big Puppy. He was probably stuffed in a pillow and I didn't notice when I stripped the beds. The resort is sending it back, so the tears have stopped.***
Oh, the tears. Real, hyperventilating, snot-inducing tears. There were even moments I felt sorry for him. Really. Heartbreak displayed in anyone for almost any reason can get to me.
Teddy lost his (apparently favorite) stuffed animal, Big Puppy, which he had chosen to bring over any others, to the family reunion we attended the week before last.
What initially puzzled me about this (other than that we searched high and low for it before we left and can't imagine how it might have gotten lost, when stuffed animals always stay on or near beds) was why cry TONIGHT? He hasn't had Big Puppy for two weeks, and he hasn't had any real tears over it until now. That was my initial reaction, too, was to ask WHY?? when Teddy managed to communicate through the gasps and sniffling what he was gasping and sniffling for. He had no answer, and I assume he cried tonight because he's extra tired or emotionally insecure, and it just GOT to him. Or maybe he's recently lost his hope of ever recovering Big Puppy. Not sure.
Being the amazing and ever-focused-on-the-eternal-perspective mother that I am (umm, not), I took the "teachable moment" opportunity and tried to use reason to teach/remind/convince him that people are infinitely more valuable than things. I tried to help him compare his concern over a stuffed animal, made of plastic and other not-living stuff, with his reaction when his best little buddy Maria died. (He didn't cry once over her.) I asked him if he would cry if our house burned down. He said yes. I asked him if he would cry if Bridget died, or Andrew. He said no.
*Insert more well-meaning monologue by Yours Truly to an exhausted and irrational sobbing boy HERE.*
Daddy came to the rescue, and I went to clean up the kitchen, but not a little bothered by the problem.
HOW, HOW does one MAKE another person value people over things? Because that's what I WANT to do. I want to make Teddy see how horribly messed up his priorities are, because I fear for his soul!
Usually when I ponder questions like these regarding teaching our children things, I remind myself that "more is caught than taught," (which is a phrase Randy likes to use often and I'm not sure from whence it came) and that usually heads me in the right direction. For example, when I think of how to instill the good habit of reading their Bibles every day, I have to keep reminding myself that it's not going to be as motivating for them if I only TELL them to do it, as opposed to seeing ME do it too. (However, I will still MAKE quiet-time a regular (even obligated) thing for my children, because reading out of obligation is better than not reading Scripture at all, and it's still creating that habit so they won't be fighting the habit of NOT-reading for the rest of their lives, like their mother does.)
But as far as prioritizing the love of people above the love of stuff, the "more is caught than taught" is not as helpful, SO FAR it seems. I think/hope that Randy and I are modeling the love of people over the love of stuff/money, though there's probably always going to be room for improvement. Our love of stuff pales in comparison to our children's, but comparing is never reaching perfection.
I wonder if righteously prioritized love is as much a gift from God as our faith is, because they sort of come hand-in-hand. Without faith from him to have faith in him, we cannot please him. Without our relationship with God set, I believe it is impossible to love others selflessly, because it requires a death of the self.
So I guess I have to conclude that, when it comes to teaching my kids to love others, I can only get them so far. They never REALLY will unless the Lord makes it happen and they become obedient children of his!
***Update: The resort's laundering service FOUND Big Puppy. He was probably stuffed in a pillow and I didn't notice when I stripped the beds. The resort is sending it back, so the tears have stopped.***
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